Adhd in Women
When ADHD doesn’t look like the way you were told it would.
especially as a woman
Many women grow up learning how to adapt rather than understand what’s actually going on. You figure out how to work harder, stay quieter, push through, and keep it together (even when everything feels harder than it should).
ADHD in women often looks less like hyperactivity and more like exhaustion, self-doubt, overthinking, and constant mental effort. Because of this, many women go years believing they’re just “bad at life,” lazy, too sensitive, or not trying hard enough.
It is estimated that 75% of girls with ADHD go undiagnosed, which means many women don’t receive answers until they reach burn out in 30s or 40s (if they get them at all).
Feeling capable on the outside but constantly overwhelmed inside
Overthinking everything — conversations, decisions, what you “should” be doing
Struggling to start or finish tasks, even ones that matter to you
Feeling exhausted from masking, pushing through, and holding it together
Being hard on yourself for things that seem easier for everyone else
Wondering why you can’t just “get it together” no matter how hard you try
Do you recognize yourself in this?
Your Brain is not broken.
It’s more than just forgetfulness
For many women, ADHD doesn’t show up in obvious or stereotypical ways. Instead, it weaves itself into everyday life — at work, in relationships, and in the constant mental effort it takes just to get through the day. You may look capable and put-together on the outside while internally juggling racing thoughts, emotional overwhelm, and the pressure to keep up.
Socially, this can mean overthinking conversations, replaying interactions, or feeling deeply affected by small changes in tone, facial expressions, or perceived criticism. You might take things to heart quickly, feel intense shame or embarrassment after social moments, or worry you’ve said or done something “wrong.” This sensitivity can make relationships feel emotionally exhausting, even when connection matters deeply to you.
At work, ADHD may show up as difficulty starting or finishing tasks, relying on urgency to stay focused, or feeling perpetually behind despite working hard. Feedback — even when it’s neutral or constructive — can land heavily, triggering self-doubt or a spiral of overanalysis. You may hold yourself to impossibly high standards, working overtime to avoid letting anyone down.
it can be exhausting..
Because many women with ADHD are intelligent, responsible, and highly motivated, these struggles often go unseen. Over time, compensating, masking, and managing emotional reactions can lead to burnout, anxiety, and the quiet belief that you’re somehow falling short — even when you’re doing everything you can.
How ADHD shows up in Women
If I were to ask you what you pictures when I mentioned ADHD, it’d be the young boy bouncing off the walls, right? What you might not know is ADHD in women often looks way different, and that’s probably why it’s been flying under the radar for so long. Below is some info on how ADHD tends to show up in women and how it might differ from men’s experiences.
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ADHD in women? It's less “can’t sit still” and more “wait, what was I doing again?” You might be juggling a million things in your head, getting lost in your thoughts, or constantly feeling like you’re forgetting something. Guys? They’re more likely to show those classic hyperactive symptoms, like fidgeting or blurting things out.
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If you’re wondering why your emotions are constantly at 110%, ADHD could be to blame. Women with ADHD often experience all the feels—intense emotions, mood swings, and feeling overwhelmed easily. Men might experience this too, but women are pros at internalizing it, which can lead to anxiety or guilt over not “keeping it together.”
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Ah, the pressure to have it all together. Many women with ADHD are in a constant battle between perfectionism and complete overwhelm. You’re working overtime to make sure everyone thinks you’ve got it all handled. Men? They tend to let things roll off a little easier, while women may spend extra time masking or overcompensating for their ADHD.
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Whether it’s losing your keys for the hundredth time or feeling like your life is one giant to-do list, women with ADHD often struggle with organization and time management—but guess what? You’re not alone. Society puts a lot of pressure on women to be the “organized one,” and ADHD makes it that much harder. Guys with ADHD deal with this too, but they’re not always expected to juggle as much.
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Let’s face it—society kind of expects women to be put-together. So, what do we do? We mask. Women with ADHD become masters at hiding their symptoms. You’ve learned how to sit still in meetings, nod along in conversations, and maybe even appear more organized than you feel (because that’s what we do, right?). Men? They’re often more “allowed” to be impulsive or scattered without the same judgment.
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Here’s the kicker—hormonal changes (yep, we’re talking periods, pregnancy, and menopause) can make ADHD symptoms even more intense. It’s like someone turned up the volume on all your symptoms. Men don’t get that fun little side effect.
Thriving with adhd
Making ADHD Work for You, Not Against You
Therapy with me isn’t about being perfect or doing it “right.” It’s about slowing things down, learning to work with your brain, and finding compassion for yourself in the places that have felt the hardest. We’ll focus on practical support for ADHD, ways to regulate anxiety and your nervous system, and making sense of past experiences that still show up in the present.
We’ll gently challenge perfectionism, untangle people-pleasing, and build communication and boundaries that actually feel doable. And over time, those old beliefs that tell you you’re failing or falling short start to quiet — not because you tried harder, but because you finally had the support to do things differently.
How therapy can help
Personalized ADHD Support: From Understanding to Empowerment
As someone who not only understands ADHD from the inside and also has the training to help others manage it, I’m uniquely positioned to support you on this journey. Whether you’ve been diagnosed for years or are just beginning to explore what ADHD means for you, we can work together to create a personalized plan to help you thrive.
We’ll start by really digging into your unique experiences and challenges with ADHD. Together, we’ll identify the areas of your life where ADHD impacts you the most—whether it’s at work, in your relationships, or your personal well-being. Then, we’ll develop practical strategies to address those specific pain points. This might include time management techniques, building supportive routines, mindfulness practices, or even just learning how to better understand and navigate your emotions.
I also focus on helping you shift your mindset so that you’re not constantly fighting against ADHD, but instead learning to embrace it as part of what makes you, you. We’ll work on reducing the feelings of shame, overwhelm, or self-criticism that often come with ADHD, and replace them with confidence, self-compassion, and empowerment.
